Considering Surrogacy? Learn from the Experiences of our Experienced Surrogates

Considering Surrogacy? Learn from the Experiences of our Experienced Surrogates

“Apart my own children, nothing in life made me happier and rewarded me more than being a surrogate” – Mary B.

At the age of 18, I knew that I wanted to help a couple create a family. Growing up as an only child who was adopted, I had a loving and wonderful childhood. However, I witnessed the heartbreak my mother experienced as she was unable to carry a pregnancy to term. One day, at a birthday party, I had my first encounter with a surrogate. In that moment, I knew it was something I wanted to do. Having seen my own mother struggle with not being able to have a child of her own, I made a personal commitment to help another couple become parents.

As time went on, I had my own children and felt that I was in a good place in my life to help a couple start a family. I discussed this with my husband, and he responded, "I will stand by your side if this is truly what you want.” Although I was unsure about how to proceed, I had a friend who had already been a surrogate, and I reached out to the same agency. I filled out a detailed questionnaire and met all of their requirements. The agency, though relatively new, aligned with my preferences. They presented me with profiles of couples looking to have a child through surrogacy, and I was immediately drawn to S. and D. I had an initial phone call with this wonderful couple and felt an immediate connection. We shared the same values and vision of family.

After undergoing screenings, we went through an embryo transfer, and soon after, I found myself carrying not just one child, but... twins! It was the most incredible experience I had ever lived. I was pregnant, but it wasn't my own children. I shared updates with this couple, my friends, regularly. I did everything I could to involve them in the experience. For example, I played songs in the language of their intended parents and cooked meals from their country, so the babies could become familiar with those flavours. They were able to attend the ultrasound, and I will never forget the expressions on their faces. It was truly amazing. I cherish that image of them on that day. They were so excited to learn the gender of their two babies that even the doctor and the radiologist came to witness the joy, and everyone was laughing in happiness... and I was happy for them! The pregnancy progressed without any issue, and the babies were developing well as we approached the delivery date. I had a scheduled caesarean section, as I had for my own children. S. (the woman) joined me in the delivery room, along with my husband, who held my hand, just as he had done before, while D. (the man) waited in the waiting room.

When the first baby was born, I remember S. shouting, "She's crying, she's crying!" and when the second baby was born, she said, "But she's crying less loudly, is that normal?" S. cut the cords of both babies, and the nurses took them to conduct the usual health checks. I went to my room to rest. Later, we all gathered again, taking turns holding the babies. It was magical. We talked about the experience, and I felt that I had done my part. I wasn't paid for it, I didn't do it for the money. I was unsure about how our friendship would continue after they returned to France. But in the end, I felt incredibly proud to have been able to help a couple in this way. It was the only time I served as a surrogate for a couple. Since that day, we have remained friends, especially with S. I am fortunate to be able to see them often. In fact, I consider them an extension of my own family. And I am certain that if you were to ask them, they would say the same thing.

“The surrogacy experience was a truly incredible and human adventure, far exceeding my expectations” – Lydica C.

I decided to become involved in surrogacy five years ago because I had close friends who were struggling with infertility. I knew they would be wonderful parents, and it was heart-breaking to think they might not have a family of their own. Being a mother to my three children has been the most rewarding part of my life. My husband and I were open to helping a loving couple from anywhere in the world, and we were hoping to work with a family that wanted twins. We found a perfect match with a family from France who turned out to be the best and kindest people. The surrogacy experience was a truly incredible and human adventure, far exceeding my expectations. The overwhelming feelings I experienced when I saw the parents holding their twins for the first time after delivery were beyond words. Their happiness and smiles filled my heart with joy. It was like they had found the missing part of themselves, just like any other parents. Now, I have a very close relationship with the family. They regularly send me pictures of the twins and updates on their lives. I have travelled to France to visit them several times, and they have also visited us in California. The surrogacy experience has taught my own children compassion for others, and the parents have become a forever beloved part of our extended family in France.

“I wanted to have accomplished something beautiful and significant for someone in my life, and what's more beautiful than giving life” - Rebecca

I gave birth to a little girl in November 2022, Michella, for an American couple, who asked me to help them have a second child. I decided to become a gestational carrier because my pregnancies have always gone well, and I know that becoming a parent is the best thing in the world. As I enjoy helping people, I thought I could do it this way. Of course, being paid helps, as there are moments when you won't be available for your family, which deserves compensation, but the reason I did it is not financial, but mostly psychological. I wanted to have accomplished something beautiful and significant for someone in my life, and what's more beautiful than giving life? And then the couple supported me a lot, even though I would have liked to meet more women like me, who carry another woman's child, in order to discuss with each other. Yet, psychologically, it wasn't too difficult, because you know right away that the baby you feel moving in your belly has nothing genetically in common with you or your husband. So, I didn't have a hard time giving birth and handing the baby over to its parents, because I thought: “my role is done, now it's up to them to take over!”

- Rebecca

“Being able to offer another woman the profound opportunity of motherhood fills me with indescribable happiness” - Emmanuella

My first experience with surrogacy dates back to 2018. I helped a couple to have a baby named “Sarah”. I still maintain contact with them, exchanging photos and staying connected through the internet. They affectionately refer to me as the “American nanny”. Sarah is aware that I played a role in bringing her into this world. In the previous Christmas season, I felt the desire to relive the experience of pregnancy, leading me to give birth to another precious baby girl for a family located in San Diego. To Sally and her parents, I am known as “aunt”, and the proximity of their residence, being just 50 miles away, allows us to spend more time together. With a 17-year-old son who is now grown, I have no plans for additional children, as my husband and I find immense happiness in our current family dynamic. However, the need to experience the unique joy of pregnancy persists within me, and being able to offer another woman the profound opportunity of motherhood fills me with indescribable happiness. Witnessing the transformative joy of parents cradling their new-borns in their arms is the ultimate reward for the dedicated efforts I put forth. However, I could not have done it without my husband and my son. Their unwavering support during my two surrogate pregnancies, during which I willingly set aside some of my own desires, has been truly exceptional.

- Emmanuella